"People think chutzpah is in the genes. It isn't.. it's in the needing and wanting and being willing to fall on your face. It isn't fun.. who wants all that rejection, but life is sweeter if you make yourself do uncomfortable things."
- Helen Gurley Brown
That was the quote I read the morning after my speech contest and it was just what I needed to hear. As I mentioned in last week's post, I competed in the Tall Tales contest and represented Division One, Area A2 Toastmasters. I signed up for the contest to challenge my fears and grow as a person and I accomplished my mission.
I was pushed and pulled emotionally every step of the way. The entire experience was way out of my comfort zone. I may have looked comfortable but my insides were in a state of turmoil. I did it anyway and it was exhilarating.
I also had the support of my fellow Agape Toastmasters and my Savvy Soul Sisters. I actually had Cynthia Lamb pray for me before the contest began...I was that nervous. But, I showed up, I did what I planned to do and I made it through the experience galvanized. Here's another quote I got in my Daily Love newsletter the day after my contest:
"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. To stay with that shakiness - to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge - that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic - this is the spiritual path."
- Pema Chodron
After the contest, I celebrated the accomplishment of facing my fears and went to see live music at Industry Cafe & Jazz with my friend Linderella. Linderella (AKA Linda Saito) was recently honored at Industry Cafe & Jazz. Here's a video of her singing. Listening to her voice and seeing her smile with soothe your soul.
Another great tool to help me make it through the utter terror of competing in a speech contest was free Yoga on the Bluff in Long Beach. I went twice this week and it was heavenly both times. I don't have a photo of the actual class in session but it takes place right here at Junipero and Ocean. There's nothing like doing Yoga while looking out at the ocean. Talk about bliss.
[caption id="attachment_1518" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The view from Junipero and Ocean. Just to the right of this is where the free yoga classes in Long Beach are held"][/caption]
The philosophy of Yoga is that you can breathe through any difficulty, any pain, any stiffness.
You can stretch yourself, you can be flexible, you can do things you didn't think you could do.
The teachers always say you can take the lessons you learn on the yoga mat out into the real world. I put that premise to the test this week and it proved to be true. With that in mind, I will definitely return to Yoga on the Bluff and I look forward to flowing through the next great adventure with grace, ease.
I am currently in the eye of a transformational storm that's running through my life. Just today I wrote in my icreatehabits.com blog about "waking up" and living life versus fearing death. Right after I wrote about it, I heard Young Hearts Spark Fire by Japandroids on XMU. One of the repeating lyrics is "I don't wanna worry about dying I just wanna worry about the sunshine girls". Crank it up and sing a long. Life is in session now.
Lyrics for Young Hearts Spark Fire by Japandroids
We finished our own lives
Now we finished off the wine
Now we're used to staying up all night
Two hearts beating OH YEAH! OH YEAH!
Well you can keep tomorrow
after tonight we're not gonna need it
Be there! (be there)
Be down! (be down)
Background, we're too drunk to feel it
OOOOHHH!!!
We used to dream
Now we worry about dying
I don't wanna worry about dying
I just wanna worry about those sunshine girls
YOUNG HEARTS!
SPARK FIRE!
ALL NIGHT!
OH YEAH! OH YEAH!
Well you can keep tomorrow
after tonight we're not gonna need it
Be there! (be there)
Be down! (be down)
Background, we're too drunk to feel it
OOOOHHH!!!
We used to dream
Now we worry about dying
I don't wanna worry about dying
I just wanna worry about sunshine girls
OOOOHHH!!!
I don't wanna worry about dying
I just wanna worry about the sunshine girls
Buy Young Hearts Spark Fire by Japandroids on iTunesCheck out Japandroids on MySpace
The theme for the Halloween meeting at Agape Toastmasters was Overcoming Fear. I was the Toastmaster of the day. I sent out a group e-mail that said:
"I encourage you to dress up. You can think Halloween or you can think of those items you love but don't feel brave enough to wear in public. On that note, you could come in your pajamas. Let us see a side of you we might not usually see, get out of your comfort zone and have fun.
P.S. I'm going to wear things that force me to face a huge fear: looking foolish or "too wild" in front of others. Think Dennis Rodman, Madonna or some crazy funk star from the 70's."
The result was a creative and inspiring meeting. The fear dissipated with each speech.
Linda Lloyd (far left in polka dot PJ's), faced her fear of leaving the house without being "made up". Margaret Futerer (devil costume) talked about her childhood fear of the Devil. Charmaine Shaw (far right) told the dramatic story of her fear-stricken life as a young child in a violent area of Jamaica. Each day on the way home, Charmaine had to pass a cemetery. She grew up hearing stories about the ghosts that resided there. She was so terrified of the cemetery that she ran past it daily without allowing her eyes to even glance in that direction. She arrived home each day winded and tired.
One day, she finally faced her fear. She looked at the cemetery and guess what she saw?
Nothing.
That's what fear is.
Nothing.
I am a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist. My most common fears have included:
Making a fool of myself
Being "too much"
Being "too loud"
Wearing the "wrong" thing
Looking "weird"
etc.
This day was an exhilarating opportunity to face all of those fears at once.
I was big, I was bold, I was loud and I was wearing all the "wrong things." Guess what happened?
Nothing.
:
:
:
One of my favorite moments of the meeting was when I confessed my fear of being "too loud". I decided to face the fear immediately and let out a bellow. People weren't ready for it but once they got over the shock, they laughed. Fear can be funny. Especially when you realize that no matter how real it seems, it's nothing.
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For step-by-step guidance to overcome fear and self-sabotage, purchase From Sabotage to Success.
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