Posts Tagged ‘self-defeating behaviors’

Why Do You Keep Doing the Same Things, Expecting Different Results?

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
From icreatehabits.com
I was spending some time with my friend Ahman today. We were talking about why people do things that they KNOW are going to result in negative consequences when they could just as easily decide to do it differently and avoid the negative consequence. Here's my nutshell, birds-eye, one-size-fits-all answer. It might need a little bit of tweaking to fit individual needs but I think it sums it up. Everybody has habits Everybody has choices Everybody can change habits Repetitive beliefs and actions can either keep old habits alive or create new ones People are dynamic People are always changing Sometimes they are becoming more of what they used to be Sometimes they are becoming more of what they want to be Depends on what they choose For some, this all happens unconsciously For others, it is conscious Developing conscious awareness puts you in a place of power Remaining unconscious keeps you stuck in a place of powerlessness I think this applies to everything from drug addiction to self-sabotage in career and relationships. That's all I've go to say. Okay, I will also add this little tid bit: change happens at the level of perception. In other words, "it's all in your mind". My book: From Sabotage to Success is a great place to start if you want to develop more awareness and make positive changes. If you are happy with things the way they are and you want more of the same, do not buy this book. If you're ready to Create the Life You Want, get the free Hypnosis MP3 at icreatehabits.com If you want an easy way to change mental habits, get the free Holosynch CD - GalvanizeYourMind.com
From ICreateReality

From Sabotage to Success on She Speaks to Inspire

Saturday, October 24th, 2009
Does the story about your past hold you back? Do you sometimes believe that you can't possibly break free? From Sabotage to Success by Sheri ZampelliThis story is about defying the odds and using your story to empower others. Sheri Zampelli speaks about her journey from abuse, addiction and homelessness to becoming a college educator, author and advocate. Let it inspire you to break free from self-imposed limitations and move forward in life. --------------------------------------------------------------- For step-by-step guidance to overcome self-sabotage, purchase Sheri's book, From Sabotage to Success.

I Create Habits with Concepts Like “Cool”

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
jamesdeanSomewhere along the line I got the message loud and clear, it's better to be cool than uncool and somehow, my concept of cool was equated with a James Dean type character - rebel without a cause. My life choices and relationships reflected this value. I thought the rebels were cool and I wanted to be like them more than I wanted to be like the "uncool" people. This had it's upside and it's downside. On the upside, I got to be at the cutting edge with some very cool, creative, unique people. I never tried to fit in to the mainstream and as such, I sort of got to form my own identity (although I was partially influenced by the desire to be "cool" so maybe I wasn't entirely true to my own individuality). smokingpunkThe downside is, I did all those self-destructive things associated with the rebel, including smoking, drinking, drugs and generally disregarding the rules and defying authority whenever possible...sometimes to my own detriment. Many years ago I quit the drugs, the drinking and the smoking and it's been a bit of an inner struggle at times. I don't feel very "cool" anymore and the part of me that doesn't want to be known as an "old fuddy duddy" yearns for a little rebellion now and then. Yet, the self-destruction is no longer "cool" and even with the heavy substance abuse long gone, I still have the residual damage to my health and a mountain of debt due to my "devil-may-care" attitude. Lately, I've been striving to make some positive changes in my life, to break out of old habits that no longer serve me. One such habit is to eat out less often and bring my lunch. It would be a great habit to have, saving me money and helping me to be more healthy yet it was a habit I was resisting. I always had an excuse not to bring my lunch and I often "forgot" to pack a lunch. One day I was writing in my journal and I realized. Part of the reason I don't want to bring my lunch is because I don't think it's "cool". With more journaling, I realized that I associate packing a lunch with being a "nerd". Totally irrational, I know but isn't that the nature of a self-defeating belief? So, right there on the spot, I decided I no longer wanted to keep a habit that wasn't serving me. I also decided that since I was the one who made up what was cool and not cool, I could change it. Rebelling against "the man" - still cool, self-destruction - not cool. So, I decided to make a list of what "cool" means to me. After making the list, I wrote a little bit about what the words mean to me and how they fit in with the person I am now and the person I want to be. Carefree - I am free to be me, I let go of concern regarding what others think of me Creative - I can make it up without waiting for permission or worrying about doing it "right" Independent - I can be independent because I am responsible and in charge of my life, because I have a solid base and a structure to support me Strong - I am strong enough to set my own agenda and stick to it Courageous - I have the courage to speak my Truth as I know it rather than bow to what others think I 'should' do Intelligent - I spend and save wisely, not ignorantly and impulsively Calculated - I can be cool because I have a plan. I am not "flying by the seat of my pants". I am firm and solid in who I am and where I'm going Confident - I believe in myself and my way. I don't concern myself with what others are thinking or doing Connected - I have a crew, a team, a posse and together we can get things done Conscious - I do what is right by me. I am aware Leader - I lead by example. I learn from others and delegate those tasks that are "not my style" In my book, cool people are brave enough to be themselves even in the face of criticism and ridicule. I realized after writing this all out that there is nothing cool about following other cool people's rules. The coolest thing I can think of is to make my own rules and to live by them regardless of what other people think. Since making this list, I have shifted my perception and my habits and I am right now in the process of making changes to my diet and my budget with relative ease. It was a shift that needed to happen because as long as I valued "cool" and felt "uncool" I was always likely to be pulled in one direction or the other. With my new definition, I can be cool and be true to my desires for health and wealth at the same time. From Sabotage to Success by Sheri ZampelliIf you have some old, outmoded beliefs and attitudes that are no longer working for you, the book From Sabotage to Success may be just what you're looking for. The first chapter has a belief tree exercise that helps you to identify some of your current beliefs, where they came from and whether or not you want to keep them. The entire book is filled with worksheets to help you define your own life and your own definitions of success. Avaliable on Amazon.com. For more blogs about overcoming self-sabotage visit icreatehabits.com --------------- Start a Master Mind Group.comWhen you think about it, every musical act you know of is using the Master Mind principle whether they realize it or not. They are joining together as a team with a combined vision. You can use the same principle and make some truly rockin' things happen in your life. Do you have a creative project you want to complete? Do you want to find a purpose for your life? If so, I invite you to come over to my brand new page called Start a Master Mind Group.com. I'm offering 4 freebies to get you started so you can get a sense of what the Master Mind is all about. There's nothing cool about holding back.

Release Self-Sabotage and Push Your Creative Envelope

Friday, May 8th, 2009
frustrationDo you have a creative idea brewing in your mind, just waiting to be expressed? Have you sensed or been told that you are standing in your own way of making it happen? Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies and we can make or break the success of our project based on the beliefs that we allow to predominate our minds. Other times, its just a matter of being so overwhelmed that you just don't know where to get started. I have met countless talented, wise and educated people who have dreams such as: *write and publish a book *write a screenplay *learn a musical instrument *produce an album or *finish a painting For many people these dreams remain stifled under a heap of excuses, insecurities and self-criticism. However there is hope and now is the best time ever to start or finish that creative project and make the dream come true. It's usually easier than we think it is. It's usually true: we are our own worst enemies. During the month of May I will post a series of blogs titled Six Steps From Sabotage to Success. The first in the series, Awareness is the First Step Toward Change is available now. In June I'll be hosting a six week workshop series by the same name in Long Beach CA. If you need support in overcoming self-sabotage, I can help. Come check out the blog series at icreatehabits.com. ------------------------------------ From Sabotage to Success by Sheri ZampelliFor more about how to overcome self-sabotage, purchase the book From Sabotage to Success. Below is information regarding the Six Steps From Sabotage to Success workshop series: Where: Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio 3740 Atlantic Blvd. Suite 201 Long Beach CA 90807 When: Monday nights June 1-July 6, 2009 6:30-8:30 p.m. How much: Cost - $60 for the entire series + $25 materials fee or $15 per week Click here to download the color brochure for this workshop series Space is limited. Call 562-305-3434 to reserve a spot or pre-register for the entire series on-line today. Cost $60 for six weeks.

It’s Kinda Like Welcome Back Kotter, In a Good Way

Thursday, November 6th, 2008
Do you remember the show Welcome Back Kotter? Well, it kinda reminds me of what it's like in some of my college classes. I'm the "Kotter" for a group of vibrant and honest women on Thursday nights. The class is called Introduction to Victimology and we get into some pretty emotional discussions on a week to week basis. You wouldn't believe some of the stories I heard. It's a lot of fun and very rewarding. Here's what my student Tammi said to me in class tonight: "Ms. Zampenelli (I have no idea why she calls me that) you might be white, but you got a black soul, you different." I took it as a compliment. I felt like maybe I was stepping into my big person's shoes for an afternoon. I have at least 3 important male figures who I admire and would want to "grow up and be like." Martin Luther King, Jr. Robert F. Kennedy and Rev. Ahman Barack Obama picture.  Hope and ProgressWhat I like about each of these leaders is their ability to speak to the human spirit. It seems to me that Obama might be the next important male figure in my life and the life's of many others. I hope that we can be inspired not only by his presidential victory but also by his spirit and determination. I hope we will follow his lead and take on those dreams that continue to call our names. Whether it's opening a homeless shelter or forming a corporation, we all have unexpressed dreams and now is a good time to dust them off, take them off the shelf and put them to good use. From Sabotage to Success by Sheri ZampelliIf you need help overcoming self-sabotage so you can reach your leadership potential, check out my book, From Sabotage to Success. It will help you to learn more about who you are, what your gifts are and how you can be a valuable contribution in this world simply by letting go of self-sabotage and following your dreams.

Seven Minute Speech about the Long-Term Impact of Child Abuse

Monday, November 3rd, 2008
Beautiful India Boy Photo by Cindy Schafer www.synergyimages.comI am sick of hearing stories about child abuse. I'm also sick of feeling like "someone should be doing something about it." I have decided that the someone should be me. If this candid discussion about child abuse and how it impacts adults sparks something within you, contact me. Click play to listen:

MP3 File
Many adults who were abused as children continue to suffer with addictions, fears, depression, physical illness and self-destructive behavior. I am interested in speaking to groups about the long-term effects of child abuse including addictions and self-sabotage. If you need a speaker for a group of therapists or social workers or if you are a service club and want to raise money for your youth program, let me know. You can reach me at 562-305-3434 or e-mail me at sherizampelli@gmail.com. If you need help overcoming self-defeating behaviors like perfectionism, fear and procrastination, check out my book, From Sabotage to Success. If you want resources for overcoming the impact of child abuse or, if you need help stopping self-sabotage, we can help. Simply sign up for our free mailing list and we will instantly send you a free report titled "Break Any Bad Habit." This report includes step by step instructions and a guide to overcoming self-sabotage now.