Posts Tagged ‘self-love’

Power of Loving You Quotes – You Know What’s Best for You

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
Feel you way through your day. Trust yourself! Who would know better for you than you? Absolutely no one!
You count. You matter. Your opinion is valid. Quotes above are taken from the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You. Editorial responses by Gal VanIZed.
Go to AskJamieLerner.com and get practical advice about real issues that impact your life and lives of those you love.

Power of Loving You Quotes – Embrace the Choices

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
"All of our power lies in the ability to embrace the choices that we can make for ourselves about how we feel on a moment-to-moment basis, simply by consciously choosing what we are thinking about. We can only do that for ourselves! (Or not!)"
Whatever you're thinking right now, it's coming from you. No one can make you think or feel anything. It's all you. Quotes above are taken from the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You. Editorial responses by Gal VanIZed.
Go to AskJamieLerner.com and get practical advice about real issues that impact your life and lives of those you love.

Power of Loving You Quotes – Trust Yourself

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
If it feels good to you from your place of connection, then it must be good for you. Trust yourself. Who would know better than you what feels good for you?
Don't listen to that voice that says it's selfish to take care of yourself. If you don't do it, who will? Quotes above are taken from the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You. Editorial responses by Gal VanIZed.
Go to AskJamieLerner.com and get practical advice about real issues that impact your life and lives of those you love.

Power of Loving You Quotes – Your Inner Being

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
"Ocean of light, sea of love, unceasing and completely unconditional; that would be your inner being."
Can you dare to surrender to your inner being today?
"I invite you to consider yourself first, for you are truly your own greatest resource!"
Plus, if you wait around for other people to come and fix you or save you, it might not ever happen. Quotes above are taken from the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You. Editorial responses by Gal VanIZed.
Go to AskJamieLerner.com and get practical advice about real issues that impact your life and lives of those you love.

True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess in You (Guest Post by Tina Tessina, PhD)

Thursday, August 11th, 2011
Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with Botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. These are shortcuts taken to try to create happiness with a scalpel, a diet, or an implant, and they don’t fulfill their promise. Beautiful people are not automatically happy people. Diva-dom , god-ness, is just a way of expressing the goal of the human quest – to attain the highest expression of the beautiful being you are is not about sex, or perfection, and you can’t get there via technology. It’s a growth process, a transformation of self through awareness and learning. It’s about meaning, and being real. It’s an emotional and spiritual walk, and it requires faith fueled with liberal doses of loving kindness. Every day, I have the delight and privilege of loving Richard, my husband, a real, human, fallible and loveable guy. We’re about the same age, he’s losing hair, and I’ve gained weight. But, after almost 20 years, we have fused our hearts and souls, if not our personalities. He clearly loves me, though I often frustrate him; and I am grateful for his presence in my life on a daily basis. Our sex life is lovely, thank you, even if it doesn’t match movie fantasies. We laugh together, we share the struggles of daily life together, and the thought that he might die before I do fills me with dread. All the buffed up male models in the world couldn’t replace my very own, live and kicking, formerly red-haired leprechaun. It took me 37 years to find him, and I’m not about to replace him with so-called “perfection”. My friends and I are no more perfect. We can be cranky, we occasionally carelessly hurt each others’ feelings, and they don’t always say the right thing. But, we are here for each other when we’re really needed, we do our best to be caring and kind, and we forgive each others’ imperfections. Perfection, particularly media perfection, is highly overrated. Clients come to my psychotherapy office every day in considerable emotional pain because their lives aren’t “perfect” enough. They feel inadequate, dissatisfied, hopeless and frustrated because they can’t attain life as they see it on the big screen. I have to break the news that those people up there have problems in their real lives, too, and refocus my clients on accomplishing normal things that work for them. All the face creams, cardio workouts, healthy diets, Prozac and meditation tapes in the world aren’t going to make their lives, their bodies, or their mental state perfect. Life is not about remaining young and photogenic. It’s about growing your soul. The only way I know to develop my soul is through feelings. Awe at natural phenomena (the star-lit heavens, a centuries-old redwood, the gorgeous Mandevilla flowers covering the arch at my gate) stretches it, making me yearn and aspire. Human relationships bruise, batter and comfort it, teaching me resilience and humility. Love urges my soul to blossom and glow, compassion causes it to blur at the edges, and so I learn to accept others as they are. The humans in my life are not the narcissistic, self-absorbed “beautiful people” of the screen. We’re ordinary, real, imperfect people, like you – the ones who really keep this country and the world going. Together, we work hard at life, trying to be our best selves, taking care of our families and each other, and striving to bring our personal ethics and aspirations alive in the world. We come from numerous backgrounds and religions, we don’t always approve of each other’s decisions, but we care for each other the best we can. We struggle to be less self-indulgent, more compassionate and understanding. We try to resist the fads, the manipulations of advertising, and the con artists who prey on our weaknesses. We survive through government administrations we don’t agree with, through natural and unnatural disasters that take our loved ones and possessions, through fads and fancies that are often unhealthy. From each event, we learn, we stretch, we recover, we process the emotional aftermath, and we move on. These life events are the soul’s workout, and though we may groan and complain, we can feel the growth eventually. Today, an elder of my church, a man in his late 70s, pretty physically battered and a bit stooped over, proved to be one of the most forward-thinking of the whole congregation. Life has beaten him up a bit, but it has not passed him by. His spirit glows radiantly. Have you ever seen an elderly person like that? One whose wisdom shows in his or her eyes, and whose love is not flamboyant, just there in a gentle query about your health, or a brief touch that calms and reassures. The spirit that shines from within them is true beauty, and it can’t be bought in a jar. The miracle is, that each of us has the total capacity to achieve this perspective, this fullest embodiment of the highest expression of soul, even as our bodies wear out and crumble. Here’s a visualization to help you access the god or goddess within, your inner wise person: Picture a person of seventy or more --just the kind of elder you admire; the one you would like to become. Financially secure, in good health, surrounded by people who care, good friends and family... active with lots of interests... Introduce yourself to this elder, and notice your names are the same.... this is you, later in life... Make an agreement with this ideal older self that you will get advice about what decisions you need to make as life goes on, to live to a healthy and happy state of being. Continue your conversation as long as you wish, and ask what your elder’s secret is for living to such a lovely old age. Once this contact is established, you can check out your decisions regularly by using this wise mentor within. For example, how does this inner counselor react to your life choices? At that advanced age, will you look back on what you’ve done and think it was worth it? Does your wise self approve? Does he or she think your choice will last? What is the difference between what’s important to you, and what this inner counselor regards as important? All the experiences of your life, especially the difficult ones, have taught you valuable skills --using what you’ve learned in life to help yourself and others can create meaning out of pain. Buddhist teachers note that poisonous plants and venoms become healing medicines with careful processing. Every trial that you face has something to teach you and can become a source of wisdom. This inner counselor will help you access what you know. It is a very effective tool to help you look at your own life and your decisions from a different and valuable perspective. The decisions you make today affect the rest of your life, and you are ultimately the only person to whom you are accountable and for whom you are responsible. Every new decision is truly a new life’s resolution. (© 2004 Tina B. Tessina From The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40) Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.  is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 16 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page); How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page); The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley) and The Real 13th Step: Discovering Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs (New Page.) Her newest books, out from Adams Press in 2008: Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage and The Commuter Marriage. She publishes Happiness Tips from Tina, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”  and has hosted "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" a weekly hour long radio show. She is an online expert, with columns at Divorce360.com and Yahoo!Personals as well as a Redbook Love Network expert. Dr. Tessina guests frequently on radio and on such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC news. Visit her webpage at http://www.tinatessina.com

Self-Nurturing and Self-Talk (Guest Post by Dr. Marjorie Miles)

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
For a high percentage of my women clients, one of the biggest challenges is self care. In my experience, there is a direct correlation between emotional eating and the lack of self pampering. Sarah Ban Breadnach, author of Simple Abundance answers the question: Why should self-nurturance be so frightening to most women? "Perhaps we are all Scrooges when it comes to self-nurturing because if we were kind to ourselves, our creativity (and what we may really need--my own editorial commentary) might begin to blossom like a plant moving toward the light. Of course, this would mean we'd want to make some changes in our lives, and we all know how we feel about changes, even positive ones. We may be in a rut, but at least our own familiar grooves are comforting in their own insidious fashion". She continues, "The way to take giant steps and strides toward our authenticity (and weight management--my own editorial, again), however, is through small changes. Leo Tolstoy believed that 'True life is lived when tiny changes occur.' Take an honest look at how good you are to yourself. How much sleep are you getting? Are you walking often or getting enough exercise? Have you given meditation a chance? How much time do you have every week to relax? To dream? To engage in personal pursuits? When was the last time your laughed?" Today, make a list of 10 self pampering things you could do for yourself. Now select one and do it...and enjoy!! Dr. Marjorie Miles, DCH is a Donate Your Weight Coach and author of Dream Doors you can find out more about her work at http://www.journeyofyourdreams.com

Just Stop Dieting….Now

Thursday, June 30th, 2011
Everyday is an opportunity for new beginnings and letting go of the old. If you're like most people with weight problems, you've tried one or more diets in your life. And, if you're like most dieters, you lost weight but then gained it back shortly after the diet was over. Here's a revolutionary concept: STOP DIETING! It might sound incredibly bold and maybe even wild but I'll use the words of Barb, a podcast listener in Florida, "I figured I had lost and gained so much weight by dieting all these years (since I was 12 and I'm now 57) this philosophy couldn't hurt anymore than what I had already done." Barb has gone down two dress sizes. If she can do it, so can you and the Donate Your Weight program can help. It's available now at www.donateyourweight.com and it tells you everything you need to know to stop dieting and create a lifestyle of permanent weight loss. If you're sick of dieting, give Donate Your Weight a try. For support with living a diet-free life, you can also subscribe to the Donate Your Weight podcast free in iTunes.
From Donate Your Weight

Love Your Body, Forgive Your “Self” (Guest Post by Laura Turner)

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
This may sound a bit odd coming from me, but I believe that regardless of what you eat - how many times each week you exercise or what particular diet you decide to try - if you do not have your inner life in order, it will be difficult to be at peace with yourself and your body. In discussing ways to love your body, therefore, it is important to look at ways we can have peace with ourselves. Moreover, in this article, we will discuss an idea you may not have considered: forgiveness. The Past Is The Past, Let It Go: The most important process we can undertake for our health and well being is to make a conscious effort not to leave negative energy embedded in the past. In effort to move into present time, and be at one with our own body, it becomes essential to let go of all the hurts and struggles that have led us to this moment. There is only one road to this state of oneness, however: The act of letting go. As it turns out, I'm not the only one who stands by the belief system of releasing the past in effort to improve the health of our minds, as well as our body and spirit. Carolyn Myss in her healing lecture series: Why People Don't Heal, makes the claim that forgiveness is the #1 way to move forward in health. And she can back it up. She has used the healing process of letting go to transform people from near death to glowing health. With this in mind then, ask yourself: Is there anyone or anything from my past which prevents me from moving forward? Said differently: is there something in your past that's holding you back? Learn To Forgive Others, The Process: This brings us to the next step in our progress of releasing the past: learning to forgive others. Keep in mind, most often others say and do things as a result of how they are feeling about themselves. In most cases, whether they are aware of it or not, unhealthy individuals inflict their wounds upon us to salve their own pain. This can no longer affect us if we make a full effort to do as Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Four Agreements, and "not take things personally." When we do take things personally, we really could gather up a lifetime of emotional baggage. As it pertains to body image and self-esteem, however, is there anyone you need to forgive? Has someone knowingly or unknowingly inflicted a negative body view onto you? Here's my personal example: When I was in high school, I had a "friend" who was popular, pretty and blonde. As an introvert and troubled youth, I took everything most personally. Imagine my emotional baggage when any time I would so much as mention my interest in a particular boy, she'd make sure she would go out of her way to get his interest. Needless to say our friendship wasn't long term. And later I learned she was living in an unstable home. Yet, when I was younger, her actions just plain hurt my feelings and gave me a negative self image. Now I realize my insecurities at the time were my wounds to heal, and once I'd forgiven her and not taken her actions personally, I could move forward without holding on to past insecurity. Learn To Live In the Present, An Exercise: When we can learn to let go of the past and live fully in the present, we are also growing. After all, how could we grow if we have negative energy lodged in the past? Moreover, there are many other active ways to learn to live in the present. Begin the process by taking a current inventory of your body. I like to do this by using my journal (you do have a journal, don't you?) Here's how it works: • Take a scan of your body. First take body part by body part and make a note of what you are happy about. Ask yourself: What do I love about me? At first this may seem awkward, but I cannot stress the importance of taking time to spend time with your self and learning to know "you." • After you've noted all the positive aspects of your self, make note of those parts you'd like to change. Keep in mind your boundaries - are these changes within your control? If so, make notes to yourself as to how you may go about making a change for the better. If changes are out of your control - take time every day to consciously send love to those parts of your body. When ever possible, tell your mind that you accept your body and your self for who you are, right now. • When you've finished, take a look at your list. What can you do right now that would make you love a part of yourself? Consider this your permission slip: Today take time to do something good for yourself. Better yet, walk to the phone right now and make an appointment to do something for your self. My favorite self-love activities? Here's a couple suggestions. Ladies: A manicure or pedicure? Gentlemen: A massage? Today, take time to focus on all of your positive qualities. Make an effort to forgive the past and move into the present moment. Prepare to grow! Journal Entries: Make note: What do I love about myself? What can I do for myself this week that is "just for me"? Laura Turner is a natural health practitioner and author. She publishes the New Body News and Wellness Letter, The Online Magazine Healthy People Read! ( http://www.new-body-news.com ) Subscribe for f.r.e.e. and receive her Special Report: "Take Charge of Your Health!" Visit: http://www.beauty-and-body.com and check out her latest book: Spiritual Fitness!