Posts Tagged ‘self-talk’
Use Rebellion to Get What You Want
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
Are you a bit of a rebel? Do you hate it when people boss you around? Have you failed at tasks that require disicpline because you don't like being told what to do or failed at diets because you resented being told how much you 'should' weigh? Well, I have good news for you. You can use that tendency to help you succeed!
That's right. Next time you hear that sabotaging voice in your head that says stuff like:
"This is too hard"
"You'll never do it"
"What's the point?"
REBEL!!
Tell that voice, "I'LL SHOW YOU!"
Refuse to listen to it. In fact, ignore it completely. Of course, this action will anger the "voice" but you don't care, you're a rebel, you are going to end the struggle by staying firm in your convictions. After awhile, the "voice" loses power and you get stronger.
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Can Thinking Make You Fat?
Thursday, September 22nd, 2011
What if your thinking creates your body? Take the example of Daisy. She always felt like she’d look better if she lost 5 or 10 pounds. From the time she was 16-years-old, she said things like, “I’d like to go swimming but I’m too fat to wear a bathing suit.” Or, “What guy would want to date a fatty like me?”
At age 31, after 15 years of referring to herself as “fat” she finally became “fat.” Now she looks at pictures from high school in astonishment. “How could I ever have thought of myself as fat? I only wish I were that “fat” now!” She says.
The truth is, our thoughts have a powerful impact on our behavior. Consider the following example:
Original Thought: “I’ll never lose weight.”
Reaction: I might as well eat this cake. What’s the point of going to the gym?
Result: You eat the cake, skip the gym and prove yourself right!
Perhaps you have a thought such as "I am fat". Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. You need evidence to support your statement, so you glance down at one of your problem areas or stare at a roll of fat over your jeans. Now, you have "proof". You react. Maybe you react on a subconscious or biological level, (i.e. you feel bad). Your body is reacting on a chemical/cellular level.
The longer you hold the thought, “I am fat” and stare at the accompanying “proof” the more real and intense your belief becomes. Sometimes you feel so fat and miserable that you decide, "what's the point?" and reach for high-fat, high-sugar comfort food to feel better. Or, you starve yourself and wreak havoc on your metabolism and set yourself up for future overeating. If you continue this cycle, you are in the process of creating a weight problem.
Here’s how the scenario might play out if you choose to be in control of your mind/body reaction. You have a thought: "I am fat" but his time you are aware of the power of your thoughts. You refuse to look in the mirror or feel your fat rolls to "prove it". Instead, you tell yourself, "I accept my body as it is now and allow it to become thinner" or you tell yourself, "no, that's a lie, I am actually beautiful, strong and capable." Now you are in the process of creating a new self-fulfilling prophecy and you will feel drawn to “prove” your new beliefs.
Some of us feel "fat" because we are comparing ourselves to a thinner person. In that case we can say to ourselves statements like: “I am doing my best” and “I maintain the right to determine what is attractive by my own standards.” Other times, the "fat" feeling is triggered by temporary bloating. In that case say, "I am temporarily bloated but that's not the same as fat."
Some of us have a very distorted body image. Many women I've worked with have noted that they feel fat or see themselves as fat even after they’ve reached a goal they thought would make them feel great. We can take the power out of "I am fat" by stating the facts such as: "I am at my goal weight" or "I'm at the size that's right for me."
Choosing these new perspectives over the old, automatic reactions will cause your body to have an entirely different response. You will have stopped the chain of events that probably triggered overeating or feelings of defeat in the past. Therefore, slowly but surely you begin creating a new reality. You no longer fall prey to the old, automatic reactions of beating yourself up or overeating.
Perhaps you have a thought such as "I am fat". Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. You need evidence to support your statement, so you glance down at one of your problem areas or stare at a roll of fat over your jeans. Now, you have "proof". You react. Maybe you react on a subconscious or biological level, (i.e. you feel bad). Your body is reacting on a chemical/cellular level.
The longer you hold the thought, “I am fat” and stare at the accompanying “proof” the more real and intense your belief becomes. Sometimes you feel so fat and miserable that you decide, "what's the point?" and reach for high-fat, high-sugar comfort food to feel better. Or, you starve yourself and wreak havoc on your metabolism and set yourself up for future overeating. If you continue this cycle, you are in the process of creating a weight problem.
Here’s how the scenario might play out if you choose to be in control of your mind/body reaction. You have a thought: "I am fat" but his time you are aware of the power of your thoughts. You refuse to look in the mirror or feel your fat rolls to "prove it". Instead, you tell yourself, "I accept my body as it is now and allow it to become thinner" or you tell yourself, "no, that's a lie, I am actually beautiful, strong and capable." Now you are in the process of creating a new self-fulfilling prophecy and you will feel drawn to “prove” your new beliefs.
Some of us feel "fat" because we are comparing ourselves to a thinner person. In that case we can say to ourselves statements like: “I am doing my best” and “I maintain the right to determine what is attractive by my own standards.” Other times, the "fat" feeling is triggered by temporary bloating. In that case say, "I am temporarily bloated but that's not the same as fat."
Some of us have a very distorted body image. Many women I've worked with have noted that they feel fat or see themselves as fat even after they’ve reached a goal they thought would make them feel great. We can take the power out of "I am fat" by stating the facts such as: "I am at my goal weight" or "I'm at the size that's right for me."
Choosing these new perspectives over the old, automatic reactions will cause your body to have an entirely different response. You will have stopped the chain of events that probably triggered overeating or feelings of defeat in the past. Therefore, slowly but surely you begin creating a new reality. You no longer fall prey to the old, automatic reactions of beating yourself up or overeating.
Self-Nurturing and Self-Talk (Guest Post by Dr. Marjorie Miles)
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
For a high percentage of my women clients, one of the biggest challenges is self care. In my experience, there is a direct correlation between emotional eating and the lack of self pampering.
Sarah Ban Breadnach, author of Simple Abundance answers the question: Why should self-nurturance be so frightening to most women? "Perhaps we are all Scrooges when it comes to self-nurturing because if we were kind to ourselves, our creativity (and what we may really need--my own editorial commentary) might begin to blossom like a plant moving toward the light. Of course, this would mean we'd want to make some changes in our lives, and we all know how we feel about changes, even positive ones. We may be in a rut, but at least our own familiar grooves are comforting in their own insidious fashion".
She continues, "The way to take giant steps and strides toward our authenticity (and weight management--my own editorial, again), however, is through small changes. Leo Tolstoy believed that 'True life is lived when tiny changes occur.' Take an honest look at how good you are to yourself. How much sleep are you getting? Are you walking often or getting enough exercise? Have you given meditation a chance? How much time do you have every week to relax? To dream? To engage in personal pursuits? When was the last time your laughed?"
Today, make a list of 10 self pampering things you could do for yourself. Now select one and do it...and enjoy!!
Dr. Marjorie Miles, DCH is a Donate Your Weight Coach and author of Dream Doors you can find out more about her work at http://www.journeyofyourdreams.com
Today, make a list of 10 self pampering things you could do for yourself. Now select one and do it...and enjoy!!
Dr. Marjorie Miles, DCH is a Donate Your Weight Coach and author of Dream Doors you can find out more about her work at http://www.journeyofyourdreams.com Why Do You Keep Doing the Same Things, Expecting Different Results?
Wednesday, April 13th, 2011 |
| From icreatehabits.com |
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| From ICreateReality |
I Create Habits with Concepts Like “Cool”
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
Somewhere along the line I got the message loud and clear, it's better to be cool than uncool and somehow, my concept of cool was equated with a James Dean type character - rebel without a cause. My life choices and relationships reflected this value. I thought the rebels were cool and I wanted to be like them more than I wanted to be like the "uncool" people. This had it's upside and it's downside.
On the upside, I got to be at the cutting edge with some very cool, creative, unique people. I never tried to fit in to the mainstream and as such, I sort of got to form my own identity (although I was partially influenced by the desire to be "cool" so maybe I wasn't entirely true to my own individuality). 
The downside is, I did all those self-destructive things associated with the rebel, including smoking, drinking, drugs and generally disregarding the rules and defying authority whenever possible...sometimes to my own detriment.
Many years ago I quit the drugs, the drinking and the smoking and it's been a bit of an inner struggle at times. I don't feel very "cool" anymore and the part of me that doesn't want to be known as an "old fuddy duddy" yearns for a little rebellion now and then. Yet, the self-destruction is no longer "cool" and even with the heavy substance abuse long gone, I still have the residual damage to my health and a mountain of debt due to my "devil-may-care" attitude.
Lately, I've been striving to make some positive changes in my life, to break out of old habits that no longer serve me. One such habit is to eat out less often and bring my lunch. It would be a great habit to have, saving me money and helping me to be more healthy yet it was a habit I was resisting. I always had an excuse not to bring my lunch and I often "forgot" to pack a lunch.
One day I was writing in my journal and I realized. Part of the reason I don't want to bring my lunch is because I don't think it's "cool". With more journaling, I realized that I associate packing a lunch with being a "nerd". Totally irrational, I know but isn't that the nature of a self-defeating belief?
So, right there on the spot, I decided I no longer wanted to keep a habit that wasn't serving me. I also decided that since I was the one who made up what was cool and not cool, I could change it. Rebelling against "the man" - still cool, self-destruction - not cool. So, I decided to make a list of what "cool" means to me.
After making the list, I wrote a little bit about what the words mean to me and how they fit in with the person I am now and the person I want to be.
Carefree - I am free to be me, I let go of concern regarding what others think of me
Creative - I can make it up without waiting for permission or worrying about doing it "right"
Independent - I can be independent because I am responsible and in charge of my life, because I have a solid base and a structure to support me
Strong - I am strong enough to set my own agenda and stick to it
Courageous - I have the courage to speak my Truth as I know it rather than bow to what others think I 'should' do
Intelligent - I spend and save wisely, not ignorantly and impulsively
Calculated - I can be cool because I have a plan. I am not "flying by the seat of my pants". I am firm and solid in who I am and where I'm going
Confident - I believe in myself and my way. I don't concern myself with what others are thinking or doing
Connected - I have a crew, a team, a posse and together we can get things done
Conscious - I do what is right by me. I am aware
Leader - I lead by example. I learn from others and delegate those tasks that are "not my style"
In my book, cool people are brave enough to be themselves even in the face of criticism and ridicule. I realized after writing this all out that there is nothing cool about following other cool people's rules. The coolest thing I can think of is to make my own rules and to live by them regardless of what other people think. Since making this list, I have shifted my perception and my habits and I am right now in the process of making changes to my diet and my budget with relative ease. It was a shift that needed to happen because as long as I valued "cool" and felt "uncool" I was always likely to be pulled in one direction or the other. With my new definition, I can be cool and be true to my desires for health and wealth at the same time.
If you have some old, outmoded beliefs and attitudes that are no longer working for you, the book From Sabotage to Success may be just what you're looking for. The first chapter has a belief tree exercise that helps you to identify some of your current beliefs, where they came from and whether or not you want to keep them. The entire book is filled with worksheets to help you define your own life and your own definitions of success. Avaliable on Amazon.com.
For more blogs about overcoming self-sabotage visit icreatehabits.com
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