"People think chutzpah is in the genes. It isn't.. it's in the needing and wanting and being willing to fall on your face. It isn't fun.. who wants all that rejection, but life is sweeter if you make yourself do uncomfortable things."
- Helen Gurley Brown
That was the quote I read the morning after my speech contest and it was just what I needed to hear. As I mentioned in last week's post, I competed in the Tall Tales contest and represented Division One, Area A2 Toastmasters. I signed up for the contest to challenge my fears and grow as a person and I accomplished my mission.
I was pushed and pulled emotionally every step of the way. The entire experience was way out of my comfort zone. I may have looked comfortable but my insides were in a state of turmoil. I did it anyway and it was exhilarating.
I also had the support of my fellow Agape Toastmasters and my Savvy Soul Sisters. I actually had Cynthia Lamb pray for me before the contest began...I was that nervous. But, I showed up, I did what I planned to do and I made it through the experience galvanized. Here's another quote I got in my Daily Love newsletter the day after my contest:
"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. To stay with that shakiness - to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge - that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic - this is the spiritual path."
- Pema Chodron
After the contest, I celebrated the accomplishment of facing my fears and went to see live music at Industry Cafe & Jazz with my friend Linderella. Linderella (AKA Linda Saito) was recently honored at Industry Cafe & Jazz. Here's a video of her singing. Listening to her voice and seeing her smile with soothe your soul.
Another great tool to help me make it through the utter terror of competing in a speech contest was free Yoga on the Bluff in Long Beach. I went twice this week and it was heavenly both times. I don't have a photo of the actual class in session but it takes place right here at Junipero and Ocean. There's nothing like doing Yoga while looking out at the ocean. Talk about bliss.
[caption id="attachment_1518" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The view from Junipero and Ocean. Just to the right of this is where the free yoga classes in Long Beach are held"][/caption]
The philosophy of Yoga is that you can breathe through any difficulty, any pain, any stiffness.
You can stretch yourself, you can be flexible, you can do things you didn't think you could do.
The teachers always say you can take the lessons you learn on the yoga mat out into the real world. I put that premise to the test this week and it proved to be true. With that in mind, I will definitely return to Yoga on the Bluff and I look forward to flowing through the next great adventure with grace, ease.
If I had to give this week a title, it would be Creativity Crash Course.
You see, I'm on this whole "love not fear" kick which calls for an incredible amount of creativity because fear is very sneaky and has endless ways of manifesting itself. I had to face a bunch of fears this week. Fear of losing my husband, fear of sickness, fear of being out of control, fears of being "found out", fears of not being good enough, fear of public speaking and more. Fear knocked on the door of my peace many times and each time, I had to deny it's pleas and make a conscious decision to choose love.
Let me give you a couple of examples.
This week, my husband and I have spent more time than usual dealing with doctors. He's been in serious pain, and I've stepped into the role of caretaker more deeply than usual. My husband has kidney stones and he has blood in his urine. I know, I know, "Too Much Information" but I have to say, when I saw that blood, my heart dropped.
It wasn't just about the blood, it was the fear that my husband could die and it was the fear of having to go on without him. It was unsettling to say the least. But if I was to choose love, not fear, I had to switch my mind to how I could make his experience a little less painful. How could I be of service?
Sometimes I felt like I was fighting with myself. Against the me that wants to ask "what about me?" Against the me that wants to dwell on the fear and drama of what might happen if/when I lose my husband "someday". I think the pull to dwell on drama goes way back, at least as far as the teenage years of watching soap operas and reading teen magazines, but I can speak from experience that choosing love feels a lot better than living in fear.
Since my husband has been down and out, I've been in charge of walking the dog. I used to dread walking the dog but since I'm in the "love not fear" mode, I looked for ways I could enjoy the time. I put on my iPod, listened to some tunes and last night I had the inspiration to practice my speech for the Area 2 Toastmasters contest while I was out walking. It was a blast.
Talk about overcoming a fear. I was delivering my speech in a very loud, animated way as cars whizzed by on Ocean Blvd. Call it crazy or call it bold, all I know is I used to be afraid to practice my speech in the closet of my own home! Now, I could care less what people think. I'm a public speaker practicing for a speech contest, whadda ya expect?
I liked practicing my speech in that manner so much that I might do it again even if I don't have to. It made my practice time feel more realistic and powerful than practicing inside my home alone. I pretended the people in their cars and houses were my audience and I was telling them all a story. This helped me get more clear on my timing. It seemed like it was more true to how I want to communicate in front of the live audience.
And that brings me to another aspect of my Creativity Crash Course. I just won a speech contest at my Agape Toastmasters club, which means I go on to represent my club at the area contest which means another opportunity to overcome fear. A lot of fear. I am literally pushed up against my own wall. I'm competing in the Tall Tales contest and prior to February 19, I'd never told a Tall Tale. But since I won (gulp) I will be busting through a new barrier on March 2 when I tell a Tall Tale for the second time, only this time there will be a lot more people there and I won't know them as well as I know my fellow Toastmasters at Agape. I have daydreams of disappearing into thin air. I consider the possibility of backing out. Neither one is going to happen if I have anything to say about it. Love it is. Love for me, love for life.
Another fear-busting experience for me was co-facilitating a Money Magnetism teleseminar with my WE-WOW Master Mind partner, Nick Pfenningwerth of Creative Wealth Building on Wednesday night. I have to admit (even though I'm afraid) that money management has been my greatest life challenge to date. I literally have money fears and I was pressed face to face with them all week long. Nick made some excellent points about why people repel money and what they need to do to attract money. I did all the homework he recommended and I'm determined to make peace with money. Love not fear...right?
I guess the success for me is that I flowed through the whole week without freaking out completely, throwing a fit or any other unfavorable response to life. Thanks to learning and applying some of the aspects of CBT and A Course in Miracles as well as some amazing warrior workouts with Your Next Victory, I've been able to remain calm, peaceful and resourceful in a time of unpredictability and nervousness. My goal is to continue to handle life in a "love not fear" manner and to take on new challenges in the spirit of adventure and personal growth.
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Cynthia Lamb, spiritual counselor delivered a powerful speech at Agape Toastmasters describing some of the benefits she's enjoyed as a result of her 2 years of membership.
Cynthia started her speaking experience with lots of "ahs" and "ums" in a manner she describes as "all filler, no content". After using the manuals provided by Toastmasters she learned to be a competent leader and communicator. Toastmasters gave her the courage to pursue her larger goal which is to share a message of spiritual healing through forgiveness with an International audience.
She recently appeared on a panel of experts lead by Blog Talk Radio host, Michelle Ann Johnson titled "Conscious Kickstart" and did a very powerful presentation which included a guided process for forgiveness. She is kind enough to make this available to the world via this YouTube Video. If you need to heal a broken heart for any reason, you owe it to yourself to check this out.
Cynthia Lamb recently earned the highest award Toastmasters offers: Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) and to do it in 2 years is an exceptional feat.
Agape Toastmasters is that kind of place. I joined 2 years ago and I was shaky and hesitant in my first few speeches. I would get so nervous that sometimes I was practically incapacitated for an entire day. But with practice and support, I became stronger and stronger.
I have used the supportive, creative environment to work out some ideas for a character, (my alter ego) Gal Vanized. When I started Toastmasters I had 7 years of experience as a college instructor under my belt. Somehow I had convinced myself or been pressured to believe that I had to "tone it down" and "be professional". Which meant that pink wigs and punk rock gigs were out of the question.
To that I say, Why?
And this semester I've used music videos in my Introduction to Victimology class to highlight some of the songs that describe the abuse of power and control in our society that leads to crime and therefore victims.
I got bold enough one night to put on the pink wig in my Introduction to Domestic Violence class and tell my story of running away from an abuse filled home to find a better life. What Toastmasters did for me is give me the courage to say what I want to say, how I want to say it.
What will Toastmasters do for you? You'll never know unless you check it out for yourself. Toastmasters is an International, non-profit organization. "The mission of a Toastmasters club is to provide a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every individual member has the opportunity to develop oral communication and leadership skills, which in turn foster self-confidence and personal growth."
Click here to find a club near you.
Listening to hip hop as a young girl gave me an education in the power of words and imagery. In this speech from the Toastmasters Storytelling manual, I take the liberty to consider the popular hip hop song, "Left My Wallet in El Segundo" as a folk tale and I retell it in my own words.
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When you think about it, every musical act you know of is using the Master Mind principle whether they realize it or not. They are joining together as a team with a combined vision. You can use the same principle and make some truly rockin' things happen in your life.
Do you have a creative project you want to complete? Do you want to find a purpose for your life?
If so, I invite you to come over to my brand new page called Start a Master Mind Group.com. I'm offering 4 freebies to get you started so you can get a sense of what the Master Mind is all about.
There's nothing cool about holding back.
I took a ride on the Metro to Los Angeles on Saturday and did my first Pecha Kucha presentation at the L.A. Beyond Cars exhibit Downtown. But that is not the beginning or the end of the story.
Pecha Kucha is a 20x20 presentation style that originated in Japan as a way for architects to share project ideas efficiently. Basically you have 20 images that stay on the projector for 20 seconds each and your presentation is centered around these images.
I found out about Pecha Kucha in the Toastmasters magazine. I was intrigued by the idea so I went to the Pecha Kucha website. That intrigued me further. I decided I must do a Pecha Kucha so I contacted the representatives from Los Angeles and Orange County and expressed my interest in presenting at an upcoming event.
Mind you, I had never done a Pecha Kucha and the only experience I had of it was seeing a video on the internet. But my Toastmasters involvement has helped build my confidence to the point that I was able to take the plunge and trust that I could do it.
Nevertheless, I was nervous. Sure, I can now present comfortably to my fellow Agape Toastmasters and the students at Long Beach City College but I had never presented in Los Angeles and I had never presented a Pecha Kucha and I had no idea who would be in attendance, I only knew that there would probably be some architects and urban planners.
For example, James Rojas is the RailLA station design workshop co-chair and he was there. He's the artist who developed a system of urban play with models. His work brings big smiles to children's faces in urban neighborhoods when he shows up with his portable play shop. You can see his city made of Legos and hair curlers if you watch the video on YouTube.
I'm proud to say I showed up in Los Angeles and did my presentation. Though I will admit, I almost wanted to bail on it. In fact, I e-mailed the coordinator of the event just two days prior and told him I wasn't sure if my images were going to work and I didn't have time to fix them all. He assured me my images were probably fine and even offered to check them out for me.
I'll be honest, I don't know if I would have stuck to my guns if it hadn't been for the fact that I told all my Master Mind partners and everyone at Agape Toastmasters that I was going to do this. I couldn't bear the thought of showing up to see Ty and the Savvy Soul Sisters on Monday night only to tell them I cancelled my Pecha Kucha. It's true, my ego couldn't take a blow like that right now. So, I garnered my husband's moral support and we got on the train together and took the ride to Los Angeles and my first Pecha Kucha.
Not only did I get my husband's moral support, but I also got him to document the events of the journey on my FlipVideo camera. So, above is a little video montage of the adventure. You'll see our trip on the Metro from Long Beach to Los Angeles, a little bit of the L.A. Beyond Cars exhibit and a portion of my Pecha Kucha, which included highlights from Long Beach Funk Fest and some of my fun times as a skater and Fresh Meat member of the L.A. Derby Dolls. Once I got my skate legs back (thanks to the Derby Dolls), I was able to be more adventurous about skating in my own neighborhood and at public events such as the Doo Dah Parade and the Long Beach Pride Parade.
In the beginning of the video you'll see me driving in my car to the Beyond Cars exhibition but I was only in my car long enough to get to the Metro station in Long Beach where I would park my car and get on the train to Los Angeles. I enjoyed the trip, I hope you enjoy the video.
Don't hold back.
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The event was put on by railla.org
The evening line up was:
Erik Alden
Paul Davis
Hong Joo Kim, a Master of Landscape Architecture from the Harvard Graduate School of Design. Furthermore he is a has taught, lectured and critiqued at Harvard University, University of California at Irvine, University of Colorado at Denver, and Cal State San Luis Obispo.
Kristofer LaméyRon Milam works to transform Los Angeles into a sustainable city by facilitating effective meetings and raising needed funds for nonprofit organizations. Milam launched the Los Angeles County Bicycle Coalition, growing the organization from an idea into a 1,000 member organization. Ron served on the Boards of Sustainable South Bronx and the Alliance for Biking and Walking, and currently serves as an LA Urban Ranger. He talked about the growing bike movement in LA and how it will help fuel an "LA Beyond Cars", especially if its integrated into investments made into high speed and local rail transportation.
James Rojas, an urban planner who devotes a lot of his time to translating the impenetrable maps and language of land use planning into a activities that are visual, tactile, and playful — the language of how we actually experience the world. His goal is to create environments that elicit ordinary people’s ideas and solutions to urban problems.
Noemi Selisker, an official resident of New Zealand where she's managed to change life paths, reduce her carbon footprint all by house sitting in other people's home. It all started as a fluke but has now become a way of life.
Zane TatumSheri Zampelli - (That's me) College instructor at Long Beach City College, member of Agape Toastmasters, former therapist providing in-home counseling for foster youth living in Los Angeles County, coordinator for Choices, an after-school program for at-risk girls. Author of From Sabotage to Success and Donate Your Weight. I believe cooperative and community-oriented solutions are necessary when trying to effectively improve service to a diverse city like Los Angeles.
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When you think about it, every creative group you know of is using the Master Mind principle whether they realize it or not. They are joining together as a team with a combined vision. You can use the same principle and make some truly rockin' things happen in your life.
Do you have a creative project you want to complete? Do you want to find a purpose for your life?
If so, I invite you to come over to my brand new page called Start a Master Mind Group.com. I'm offering 4 freebies to get you started so you can get a sense of what the Master Mind is all about.
There's nothing cool about holding back.
I submitted an audition tape to Oprah on Sunday. I'm hoping that you will vote for me to get my OWN T.V. talk show. We taped the audition in front of a live audience. Between takes I did a little dancing, a little rapping and a little jumping up and down. All caught on video.
I want a show that's a mix between Soul Train and old school Oprah. You know, when you used to have real-life, everyday people on and they'd tell amazing stories and experience transformation before your eyes. How about if we do that with fun stuff like music and roller derby and stories? That's what I want to do and you can help me by voting today. Voting ends June 3.
Tomorrow morning, I am the Table Topics Master of the day. The theme (which Ty the Toastmaster is responsible for, not me) is "Puff...Puff...Pass! Livin' Hiiiiiigh on Life! What's Your Internal Peace Pipe That Keeps You High?"
When Ty told me the theme, I immediately heard Higher Ground by Stevie Wonder playing in my mind. So, I decided to look up the lyrics. They are awesome (read below). I am going to use snippets of the lyrics as a springboard for table topics. Should be inspiring.
By the way, in case you're wondering how I ever got into Stevie Wonder, he was very popular in the '70s when I was a kid and I admired his spirit back then. I currently have an episode of Soul Train saved in my Tivo featuring young Stevie Wonder as the guest. He writes a song on the spot just for the Soul Train audience and is amazingly shy. Don Cornelius asks him, "When did you figure out you had so much talent" and Stevie bashfully replies, "I haven't."
I love this music and the spirit behind it.
Higher Ground by Stevie Wonder Lyrics
People keep on learnin'
Soldiers keep on warrin'
World keep on turnin'
Cause it won't be too long
Powers keep on lyin'
While your people keep on dyin'
World keep on turnin'
Cause it won't be too long
I'm so darn glad he let me try it again
Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin
I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then
Gonna keep on tryin'
Till I reach the highest ground
Teachers keep on teachin'
Preachers keep on preachin'
World keep on turnin'
Cause it won't be too long
Oh no
Lovers keep on lovin'
Believers keep on believin'
Sleepers just stop sleepin'
Cause it won't be too long
Oh no
I'm so glad that he let me try it again
Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin
I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then
Gonna keep on tryin'
Till I reach my highest ground...Whew!
Till I reach my highest ground
No one's gonna bring me down
Oh no
Till I reach my highest ground
Don't you let nobody bring you down (they'll sho 'nuff try)
God is gonna show you higher ground
He's the only friend you have around
Buy music by Stevie Wonder on iTunes
What you listen to makes you who you are. Create the Life You Want with a free hypnosis MP3 at icreatehabits.com
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The philosophy of Yoga is that you can breathe through any difficulty, any pain, any stiffness.
You can stretch yourself, you can be flexible, you can do things you didn't think you could do.
The teachers always say you can take the lessons you learn on the yoga mat out into the real world. I put that premise to the test this week and it proved to be true. With that in mind, I will definitely return to Yoga on the Bluff and I look forward to flowing through the next great adventure with grace, ease. 
