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They're either vacant, engaged, or full of crap.

One who gets someone to read the DIY manual to him. Woman: As opposed to what?

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Why are men like floor tiles? What do men and women have in common? When the power goes off.

So that his best friend has a roof over his head. He works in a video store; he's eager, chatty, sleeps in his car. Lifting his legs so you can vacuum underneath.

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A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. He invents a story of a great-aunt who lives in the building and fakes her death to get the girl to let him in her apartment but holds a butcher knife between mzrried. What's the difference between government bonds and men? Why are men like popcorn?

It's a sentence. Don't know, it's never happened. The man.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? Men always miss them.

The married woman trying out candidates for her first affair

Replace the door locks by bra fastenings. When you are in the lavatory and the plane hits turbulence. Because they don't have any.

Wife: I'd like to thank my husband for three wonderful years of marriage -and What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

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How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll? They both distrust men. Her: I would, but you're never there.

How do you tell when a man is lying? How does a man make sex more interesting?

What's a man's idea of a perfect woman? In a mental institution. There are two times in his life when a man doesn't understand women.

When he's a baby. He disappeared. When it's time to go back to childhood, he's got less far to go.

How do you know when a man's had an orgasm? His lips move. Any contributions to this collection welcome - me!

We’ve been married 43 years.

So it goes and he is no longer living in his car. What do you give a man who has everything? How mzrried you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?

He's breathing. Guilt gifts are nicer. The barman says "still? What's the difference between a man and E.

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What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelit dinner? What's the difference between a man's marroed and his girlfriend? Why are men like toilets?